What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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( . Y . )

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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