Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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black people are white when i use night gogles

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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anus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops