-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's an Anti Joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

OOOOPPS /

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

MySpace.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops