What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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River Ravi flows in which state? Liquid state.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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im a dragon, no im not

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops