Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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