Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

What city likes baseball the most? New York

- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

Because she has down's syndrome

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

Knock, Knock. Come in!

What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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