What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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A black man from Harlem walked in to a store. He then proceeded to buy a few items using money he had earlier procured by working dilligently.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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whats it called when you see a ton of white people running down a hill.... an avalanch whats it called when you see a ton of black people running down a hill.....a mud slide whats it called when you see a ton of mexicans running down a hill............ a jail break

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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