A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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aa

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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