- Anti Joke

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.