What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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a woman votes!

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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