You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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