What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'm Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops