Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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