Knock, Knock. Come in!

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops