"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

Knock Knock! Come in..

(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

What happen? Idk...

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

Q: Why was Luigi sad? A: Because he entered the Twilight Zone.

Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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