Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

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How many dead body can you hide in a hole? 100. Forget the fat guy

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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