What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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CRY

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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how man

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops