Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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"Why Do Dogs Bark ? " Because Thats What Their Suppose To Do !

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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