What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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Potato!

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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