Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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25

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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