Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

What's green, and looks like money? Money...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

What is black and white and red all over? A black, red and white picture

Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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