Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

hello what is this crazy nonsense site sl

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

Women's rights.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

Two babies wonder off from their home. They die of starvation because there parents could not find them in time.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

Lil Wayne's rapping career

Q. Why did the man die? A. Natural Causes

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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