what's faster than an asian on a bicylce on payday? many things

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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This is an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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