Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

burn baby burn your nanas burning

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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