A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

tommy is retared

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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