Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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My kids are mistakes.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee and had armor so it deflected off. Then I found out my wife was pregnant.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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bill goes to the room.. why? to fing a broom riddle boz full of burtiouse.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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