An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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