How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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My dad

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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PENIS

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops