How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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Women's rights

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Women can vote? WTF

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Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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why do you always see black people smoking? because your neighbors are black and they smoke on their porch,a place you can probably see from your house.

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops