One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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A mans opinion.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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