These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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what is orange? an orange

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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