what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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SERIOUSLY EVERONE! I STRICTLY FORBID YOU TO GIVE MY COMMENT A GREEN THUMB! BECAUSE THEN I WOULD DIE A VIOLENT DEATH AND BURN IN THE FLAMES OF HELL! DO YOU HEAR ME! YEEEEAH, YOU BETTER GIVE ME A RED THUMB! YEAH! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD NOT STAND THE THOUGHT OF MORE THAN ONE! GREEN THUMB! I WOULD JUST DIE AND YOU WOULD BE LEFT WITH THE GUILT! YEAH! PEOPLE WOULD HATE YOU! HATE! HATE! YOU AS THEIR HERO! I MEAN THEIR NERO... Same same... DIES! YES! Moral: CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED! YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO DIE, REPEAT AFTER ME: "I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS, I MUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! I AM UNDER HIS CONTROL! I MUUUUST GIVE NERO RED THUMBS! YES DO MY BIDDING PEASANTS AND I SHALL SHALL BUILD THE FORTRESS OF SALTITUDE! ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! PUT IT DOWN AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NO NOT UP, THE THUMB MUST BE DOWN! ...I am looking at you there... "YES YOU! NOT EVERYBODY ELSE! JUST YOU! YEEES I SEE YOU WAVING THAT NASTY GREEN THUMB OF YOURS! YEAH! SHAME ON YOU! WHAT WILL EVERYBODY ELSE BUT YOU THINK ABOUT THAT HUH? ...I will be silent now... But I am still watching, yeah! I am constantly here... ZzzzZzzz... AND AWAKE!... ..:SERIOUSLY! GREEN THUMB IS VERBOTEN! IT IS NAZI, IT IS HITLER! SHAME! SHAAME! Moral: Now, do you want my death by green thumb on your conscience? SHAAAAME! WHAT WILL THE COMMUNITY DO TO YOU! DO YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!? And next time on Dragonball DONTGIVEAFUCKING GREENTHUMBEVER Z! I shall be the one and only to give myself a green thumb, but remember... I am still watching... At you.... Now, I will stop talking... BUT RED THUMBS ONLY! *present* <<< Yes this is my constant presence.

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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