Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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My kids are mistakes.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Derp

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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