What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Where is the best place to hide a black persons food stamps? A: In their wallet so they can go to the grocery store and support their family with the little amount of help they get.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Dick in your vagina fuck cock cunt shit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops