What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

ur an fagit

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what does a granny look best in? 1950

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

david weres the slug gone

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops