Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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