What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Anything involving women..

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Are you a psychopath? Take this short quiz. Q1. You live in an apartment building (about 10~15 stories). You were a student studying for an exam, but decided to take some rest. You looked out the window and witnessed a man killing a girl. The man saw you and moved his finger in a certain motion. Just from the information given, what do you think the man was doing with his finger? Q2. Someone is in front of you. Who is that person? Q3. There is a portrait of a man who went to war. He was injured in two places. Where was he injured? (List the two places he was injured.) Q4. A little boy received a bike and a soccer ball for presents. But the boy hated them. Why didn't the boy like the two presents? Q5. You're a thief. You broke into someone's house. The owner of the house saw you; you have no choice but to kill the owner. But the owner hid inside the closet. How are you going to kill the owner? Q6. You're a twin (and you're a girl). You were born before your twin sister. Your grandma recently passed away and you guys had to hold a funeral for her. At the funeral, you saw a handsome, young man. You fell deeply in love him... But, you killed your twin sister. Why did you kill your twin sister? Q7. You live in an apartment. You were watching TV, but someone was knocking hard on the door. You looked through the peephole and there was a man who was holding a knife. What are you going to do? Q8. You're the youngest member of the family. You saw your mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. die right in front of your eyes. But you stood still or did nothing. Why did you? Q9. You were very thirsty. You decided to get a drink from the vending machine. What color drink did you choose? ---------------------------------------------------- A1. Normal: Memorizing your face to kill you. Psychopath: Counting what floor you live in. A2. Normal: Murderer/Criminal Psychopath: a landowner A3. Normal: Whatever the psychopath didn't say... Psychopath: Eyes and chest A4. Normal: Already own it or hate it Psychopath: Doesn't have legs A5. Normal: Stick a knife inside and kill the owner. Psychopath: Wait in front of the closet until the owner come it. A6. Normal: To see that handsome, young man again. Psychopath: To have that man all to yourself. A7. Normal: Do not open the door. Psychopath: Open the door, take the knife away from the man and stab him. A8. Normal: You were going to die anyway, too. Psychopath: Because you were bribed. A9. Normal: Red, blue, orange, etc. Psychopath: White, clear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops