Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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children burning

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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