When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

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i just wrote this so hard

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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Alchohol.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Why did the boy with one arm have no friends? He was a cereal killer from Ireland.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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