"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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