An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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