Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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