What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

thumb_up thumb_down

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

thumb_up thumb_down

A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does shit taste?\ Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Obama getting elected in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops