A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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