What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops