One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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