Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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roses are red violets are blue i use refrigerators to keep my food cool

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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Misner is a twat.

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Brad Fuller!

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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