A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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why do you care?

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Try it Yourself »

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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