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thumb_up thumb_down -24

yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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