How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Wanna see some more?

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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