Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Lil Wayne

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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all hail based mark

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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