I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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trumpy trumpy trump

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

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That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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