Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Justin's humor

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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