I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Knock Knock! Come in..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So you all no Dora right, well why is she always lost in the forest wit her friend boots? Whats the deal with the map everybody knows maps cannot talk!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is wrong with the makers of the show!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Thank you for helping to save the animals. You may send your donation as a check to "Anti-Joke" at 555 Main Street, Anytown, CA.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

...............................................................hi

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops