Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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Bob Saget

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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mark lawson likes boys

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Justin's humor

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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