Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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One girl said to her friends, "LOL guys wait for me." She ran to a pile of corpses. The girl was about to lose her sanity as she was in denial when her friends had died. She held hands of two of the corpses and smiled and pretended everything was ok.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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