- Anti Joke

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

Woman rights.

Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

Rick Santorum 2012

Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.