How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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YOLO

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Roses are red violates are blue, matty is gay, sebby is too

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops