What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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Lewis

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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